The Top Five Songs Black People Are OK With White People Ruining at Parties

White People! Are you tired of constantly reading Buzzfeed articles calling you out on culturally appropriating black songs at parties? Don’t you want some of your own black songs that you can fail at dancing to? Well, The… Read More

It Happened to Me: I Was Trapped in a Rush Horde and Initiated Into a Sorority

On a balmy Sunday, I was supposed to be walking home to meet my visiting sister, Violet, who had flown all the way from Sacramento, California to meet with me. Instead, I was trapped in a rush horde… Read More

Election Season 2016: Millennials Lay Groundwork But Fail to Follow Through

This election season, we millennials have achieved what everyone said was impossible. Several months ago, many thought a grassroots movement like this would amount to nothing. We have made great strides, but there is still a looming issue…. Read More

Meet Big Mike: The SU Junior Who Wears Shorts 365 Days A Year

  For most students at Syracuse, shivering through the brutal winters is one of the biggest drawbacks of attending this university. For others, it is an opportunity to pursue the limits of human endurance and set a new… Read More

Replacing Justice Scalia: Cuse Students Share Their Thoughts

The recent loss of beloved Supreme Court Judge Justice Scalia means that there’s a big decision to be made — who is going to fill his seat in the United States Judicial System’s elite squad?! We took it to… Read More

How to Make Every Conversation About You!

We at The Kumquat know nothing is more annoying than when people talk about trivial things like the presidential election, gender issues, or gun control instead of what really matters — that sick shot you scored at the buzzer… Read More

7 Signs Your Parents Are Actually Steaks

Don’t lie to yourself. You’ve been wondering if your parents really are just two well-done steaks for quite some time now. Quit your pondering, because the Kumquat is here to tell you the 7 warning signs of your… Read More

Local Rainbowface Fights Snapchat Filter

Meet Amber Tallioni, a 71 year-old Rainbowface from Arlington, Virginia. As a Rainbowface, she can splurt actual rainbows out of her mouth, no filters needed. Since the late 1960’s, Americans have almost entirely forgotten about the disorder that… Read More

13 #PopeSelfies That Prove God Exists

1) We all know the new pope is BAE 2) I mean, this face could only have been sculpted by god. #cuteaf 3) He knows how to rock an outfit, even though he is a #outfitrepeater 4) Yes!… Read More

ESF Alumnus Regrets Not Spending More Of His Youth Indoors

SUNY-College of Environmental Science and Forestry (ESF) has an excellent record of preparing its students for the rigors of the work force. However, ESF alumni have become more and more dissatisfied with the fact that their ‘real world’… Read More