Local Rainbowface Fights Snapchat Filter

Meet Amber Tallioni, a 71 year-old Rainbowface from Arlington, Virginia. As a Rainbowface, she can splurt actual rainbows out of her mouth, no filters needed. Since the late 1960’s, Americans have almost entirely forgotten about the disorder that… Read More

13 #PopeSelfies That Prove God Exists

1) We all know the new pope is BAE 2) I mean, this face could only have been sculpted by god. #cuteaf 3) He knows how to rock an outfit, even though he is a #outfitrepeater 4) Yes!… Read More

ESF Alumnus Regrets Not Spending More Of His Youth Indoors

SUNY-College of Environmental Science and Forestry (ESF) has an excellent record of preparing its students for the rigors of the work force. However, ESF alumni have become more and more dissatisfied with the fact that their ‘real world’… Read More

An Open Letter From the Girl Who Keeps Trying To Flush Her Tampon Down the Toilet

I am not apologizing. I will not back down. I won’t let anything get in the way of my dream. And do you know what that dream is? Successfully flushing a tampon down the middle stall toilet in… Read More

EXCLUSIVE: Kenan Thompson to Announce Presidential Bid at Family Weekend Standup Set

Students are buzzing over Kenan Thompson’s scheduled appearance at Syracuse University’s Goldstein Auditorium on Sept. 25. But little do they know that Thompson’s antics have just begun. For years, Thompson has been a staple of our screens, mastering… Read More

Inspiring! Meet The Newhouse Student Who Interns For Himself

Spring break is upon us. For some, that means beaches, booze, and maxing out Daddy’s credit card. But for those of us with a future, it means the swift arrival of the deadline to apply for summer internships…. Read More

7 Things That Look Way Better In The Snow

1. These trash cans behind Starbucks – Piles and piles of commercial trash from SU’s favorite coffee chain. A sight you might pass on a spring day and greet with shudders somehow reveals its true glorious beauty under a fresh… Read More

Class Cancellation Policy Must Consider The Fact That I’m Having A Bad Day

In recent weeks, numerous complaints regarding the class cancellation policy here on campus have come to light. Whether it’s the dangerously cold temperatures or unsafe driving conditions, there are plenty of valid reasons why classes should be cancelled…. Read More

Freshman Girl Pledging Sorority “Sees Too Much”, Is Beamed To Distant Galaxy

On her way to relieve herself in her sorority house during pledging this past Tuesday, freshman Donna Brady accidentally stumbled upon something she was never meant to see. Behind the door she assumed was that of the house’s first… Read More

Editorial: The Kumquat Announces Full Transparency

Dear Syracuse University students, staff, faculty, alumni, and Otto: It has come to our attention that although the sit-in has ceased, THE General Body still plans to move forward with its agenda, pushing diversity and transparency on campus. After… Read More