The Top Five Songs Black People Are OK With White People Ruining at Parties

White People! Are you tired of constantly reading Buzzfeed articles calling you out on culturally appropriating black songs at parties? Don’t you want some of your own black songs that you can fail at dancing to? Well, The Kumquat has come up with a playlist of songs black people are more than happy to let you ruin. Play these tunes at any party to let your one black friend know, “Yo! This party’s gonna suck!”

 

Disclosure: Anything that The Black Eyed Peas did is off the table. I think we can all agree that they collectively belonged to no one.

 

5. Hey Ya!: Outkasthey ya

 

(Image courtesy of VEVO)

 

Hey, remember that one Andre 3000 guy who had the biggest song in 2003? Apparently, you guys still do! Play this at any frat party or bar mitzvah and wait ‘til the “Shake it like a polaroid picture” part to see everyone bump into each other all at once. It’ll be the only rhythmic choreography you do all night!

 

 

4. Hot in Herre: Nelly

  hot in herre

(Image courtesy of ABC News)

 

This song goes perfect for when you’re sweating through your Patagonia sweater that your bros got you for Bro Christmas Bro!

 

3. All of Sean Paul’s Music

sean paul

(Image courtesy of Wikipedia)

 

Feeling like a trip to the Islands? With songs like “Temperature” and “Shake That Thing,” you too can wiggle your tight ass to the beat courtesy of the Macklemore of Caribbean music

 

2. In the Club: 50 Cent

 

itsha birthday

(Image courtesy of Music Choice)

 

Celebrate your birthday the 50 Cent way. Play this and watch everyone mumble the lyrics just like 50 Cent mumbles the lyrics, except you didn’t get shot in the mouth and make a movie about it.

 

1.Ignition Remix: R. Kelly

r kelly

(Image courtesy of Altria Theater)

 

This classic song is like white party Viagra. Nothing gets a mixer going like a catchy tune sung by a guy accused of peeing on a little girl! Play this song later in the evening to keep the party bumping. It’ll be the only time black people are mad they got to an event late.

 

BONUS TRACK: Song that Latinos Are OK With White People Ruining

Suavemente: Elvis Crespo

crespo

(Image courtesy of Wikipedia)

 

Feeling a little more ethnic? This Latin banger always gets white hips moving like a newborn giraffe learning how to walk. And don’t worry about your dance moves. Just take comfort that you’re jammin’ to a song from a guy who looks like this!