You Won’t Believe What Hillary’s New Campaign Strategy Is!

After Marco Rubio announced his presidential candidacy yesterday, the Clinton Campaign has grown increasingly wary of his youthful face and its potential to win over millennial voters. In an attempt to reach this crucial demographic, Hillary Clinton has reformed her campaign strategy to include one of the most influential methods of capturing the attention of these flighty young adults—clickbait. The Kumquat has compiled a list of some of her recently released material.

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“How To Create 2,000,000 Jobs (and Look Like You’re Not Even Trying)!”

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“Hold The Phone!! What Kind of Invasion of Privacy Happened Now?!”

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“8 Totally Wild Health Care Reform Hacks You’ve Never Heard Of!”

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“Inspiring! This Video Will Show That You Actually Never Understood The Complexities Of The Arab Spring!”

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“Presidential Candidacy? You’ll Never Guess What Happens Next! (World Domination)”